Ever felt this way? This is a rallying cry from all those folks desperately seeking a partner in their life. Being single today at every age is very different than 30 years ago. If you want something real...here it is. There real-ly is an explanation for your perceived demise in finding a mate.

First advice: If you feel like you are losing your mind...then please do! You see, that is where your biggest problem resides - up in your head! You need to get rid of it. Don’t believe me? I’ll show you by example:

Let’s take Tom. Tom has invested a lot in pursuing a mate. After a very long stream of potential “would-be’s” ...Tom is still alone. Here’s why. He has a list in his mind. The list demands “this” is what he wants and “that” is what he doesn’t. He firmly establishes this thought pattern in his being. Note that at least three mainstream sciences are working on technologies to release this very thing, that is, self-engraved thought patterns you no longer want. So here’s Tom, with his wise, experienced, and self-choreographed dance looking for a partner. Keep in mind, he knows his side of this dance very well since he has done it many times. You know, what works and what doesn’t. How to turn on the charm and how to turn it off. Tom has mastered being able to cause impressions. We all have ...haven’t we?

But here is the key, the impressions he creates are rooted in the list...and the list changes. When the list changes so will the impression he leaves. Non-compliance to the list will cause a non-compliance demeanor to fire off. Bullets fired for non-compliance can be very dangerous and the partner is left dodging them as they fly by. Anger, not love, is generally the caliber of choice used for “out of compliance” activities from the list – before you change the list again, of course. That is the thought pattern and how we are wired. Simple isn’t it. It is the law of attraction – plugged in...to your list. Your mind is focused on your list...not your partner and the list isn’t real but your partner is. You see, you are simply plugged into the wrong socket. Plug into your heart-socket.

Now back to the original theme...you know, looking for something real. So was any of these self created illusions real? If so which one? Remember advice number one? Lose your mind! All this activity in these dances, impressions, and the lists are taking place in your mind. Correct me if I am wrong here but aren’t you looking for love? I thought love was supposed to originate in the heart.

Love, based on a list of ever changing criteria – isn’t real! Find your heart! It doesn’t think. It doesn’t judge. It doesn’t have a thought pattern. The definition of pure love is love stripped of the mind’s criteria –the list. Now uncontaminated, love spews out without the need for any particular requirements. If you are fishing for “real” bass then you have to use “real” bait.

The “bait” you are using in your head is akin to running players through a series of ever-changing test patterns embedded in a game to see if they can pass or not. So why does the game end with you being alone every time? It is because your base of operations wasn’t in your heart. That is where the “real” you seek is found.

Launch from your heart and what you will bring out of people will be a reflection of that beam. Right now what you are getting is this beacon coming from your head and the law of attraction is riding the frequency. Have you ever heard that you are the one creating your own experience? Well, this is exactly how you are doing it.

If you genuinely want something real in your life then you need to be the real you and that starts in your heart – no exceptions. If you want to stop the string of relationships know that you are the common denominator to them all. You were creating all the illusions with your lists shaping your perception and the impressions you made from those perceptions. All illusions...from a list.

Second Advice: Choose your heart as your base of operations. The heart only knows one emotion. Much simpler to keep up with.

You can find happiness and joy in many things external to you. But those feelings are caused by you letting love out of your heart. Your joy comes from releasing and not from taking in. Luckily, you are in charge of this! Granted, you project joy out to many different things. So really, it was never the “things” that made you feel the joy...it was the process of you letting the love out of you – being completely out of your mind. Sounds like nirvana doesn’t it? It is. Try it.

Feeling coming straight from the heart is unmistakable. It instills trust. It creates energy people sense consciously. What you create with this energy is real. So there’s your answer. This is where “real” exists. If you want to rendezvous, naked –so to speak, then Starbucks sounds fine ...only I drink herbal teas!